The Escape of Squirrelly the Skunk

So a while ago, I kept hearing something messing with my outside trashcans late at night. I mentioned it to our Head of Grounds, Craig. He, always being helpful, decided to lay out a trap for the culprit.

It turned out to be a skunk.

Now, the thing about catching a skunk in a trap is that you can't shoot it, or it will spray. And you can't move it, or it will spray. So, really, you can't do anything.

It is also several feet from my front door.
So, I have been getting in and out of my house like a ninja lately. Always angling to the side, and keeping an eye on the skunk.

So, as the days went on, me eyeing the skunk, him eyeing back, I sort of started to feel bad for the poor little guy. He was always sort of nice, sniffing in the air like a cute little thing, making the most of his situation. I swear he nodded at me once when I was leaving for work, as if to wish me a good day.

Here he is taking a cute little nap:

So, anyway, I even gave him a name. Squirrelly. Squirrelly the Skunk.

Now then, my heart isn't exactly bleeding. I have, in fact, signed death warrants on skunks and raccoons who tear up my trashbags during the summer. Oh, and that black squirrel who found a way into my dry goods room? Better you don't know. But at the same time, my heart isn't made of stone either.

This little fellow was just nice. He had a name. And I was feeling bad for him every day. When it rained, I got excited, because I knew that Squirrelly was going to get to drink.

So, I decided that I had to break him free. Otherwise the guilt of his death would be more than I could bare.

I enlisted the help of my youngest brother, and fellow skunkitarian. Here he is in his skunk freeing outfit, looking a lot like a yellow Cobra Commander:

Our mission was simple:

1) Free Squirrelly

2) Not get sprayed

3) Document it with pictures.

Since he is good at climbing roofs and I am good at taking pictures, we decided to combine our forces and become Skunk Rescue Squad(tm).

His raincoat is +7 agility btw.

That ladder he was holding? Totally went to getting him up on the roof.

Edward then proceeded to lower this swimming pole down to Squirrelly's cage.

And then he went for the little locking latch.

My pal Squirrelly looked up alertly, which sent me behind this totally protective tree.

Edward loudly whispered toward me that he needed a second pole to get that cage open. So, I got him one.

Take two with the cage.

So Edward is really good at opening cages. Because he managed to get Squirrelly free. I wish I had the escape shot to show you. But here is what happened: The door opened, and then Ol' Squirrelly came out. And I swore it was coming right at me. This is basically the picture that I got:

But he is free.

We think he lives here:

So, I rate my documentary skills at C+. Edward got an A plus plus plus for his Squirrelly breaking free skills.

Wherever there is injustice, you will find him.

Wherever there is suffering, he'll be there.

Wherever liberty is threatened, you will find...

The Skunk Freer Guy.